Happy Friday! I'm sitting here on a lovely August summer morning, making myself a second cup of coffee and listening to light jazz play smoothly on my Spotify playlist. Taking care of my daily work tasks, enjoying the sunlight coming in through the windows as my dog snores on the couch next to me. It's the little things in life that really enrich it, you know? Sometimes we always find ourselves looking forward to the future, or perhaps remembering the past, that we can easily forget to wrap ourselves in this very moment and enjoy it. Life is easy to take for granted, and sometimes we wonder "Where did the time go?" When you really "Live in the moment"- It becomes so much more fulfilling. Life.
I'm going to take a little turn here- Content Warning for anyone who does not wish to read further about, well, what happens after life. I know it perhaps may be a sensitive subject, so just giving you a fair warning!
Now, continuing on- every so often I'll think about death. I know many of us try not to, yet it lives in the back of our heads, usually resurfacing when a loved one passes on, or when we have a near-death experience, or a number of many other reasons. I put the CW because for some, it may be too upsetting. Others may be scared. Still others may be just fine with it, even making jokes and adding a bit of dark humor to the mix. However you feel about it, we know it's there. I myself am a bit of a mix- many times I get worried or scared, but I usually try to laugh about it. It may be one of the reasons I love horror and the macabre so much- It's something that exists, so why not embrace it in a way? For some, they're even just okay with it, even welcoming it. I feel like everyone is at least a little afraid of it- I feel as though that would be a natural instinct.
Anyway, what brought this on? Well, just a couple of weeks ago, my brother's wife passed away from cancer. We weren't that close, they mostly kept to themselves, moving away to the mountains, and we haven't talked in a while. They knew the time would come, and she's no longer in any pain or suffering.
Then, last week, a tragedy. A friend of mine (Another I hadn't spoken to in a long time due to, well, the busy-ness of life) died in an accident. The story I was told was, she was at a party, then walked out to her car to get something, slipped and fell, hit her head and fell into the pool. People went to go look for her after a while, and found her in the pool. She was 32 years old.
It hard to imagine as the mind reels thinking about such a thing. It made me start thinking about how little decisions and what can happen in even just an instant, like a Butterfly Effect. What if she'd taken a different path, or someone came with her to the car, or if someone found her sooner? What if she'd never even gone to the party? Would she still be here, or was it just "time"? It's crazy to think how so many survive the brush of death, yet others it falls upon them instantly. It also makes me think of the Final Destination series- If you've never seen it, well, basically the movies all go:
Someone has a premonition about a huge accident that kills a lot of people- They end up escaping the accident, saving their lives. But then, death comes back to kill them one by one, since they were supposed to die in the original accident. "Death's Design" as they call it. It's one of my favorite film series for many reasons, but I do find such a thing interesting to think about. Do we all have a "time"? Have we cheated death before? When will it happen to us? How? Of course, the question as old as time- What happens after? Nobody really knows, do we? Only those who are there know. Perhaps we reincarnate? Go to Heaven? Stick around in Purgatory, or maybe haunt the Earth for a bit? (My personal favorite, because I would totally play pranks on everyone) Others say they think/hope that "that's it", no more, lights out- like trying to remember something before you were born- we can't comprehend it. This one I don't really care for, because, well, I like existing! But I guess if this is what happens, I won't really care by then will I? But I do feel like the energy passes on somehow-Maybe what we believe will happen, will happen. I would think it would be neat if we had a choice. Like the beginning of a video game opening, you can choose to reincarnate, go somewhere, haunt, or take a nice long rest. Or, what if this is all a simulation- We're really aliens playing a really advanced Sim game. So many possibilities! I do feel like dreams and the subconscious are connected to the spiritual realm of sorts. You know how you feel like you see "something" out of the corner of your eye? Or you "think" you saw a ghost? I feel as though the subconscious connects somehow to that plane of existence. As Lydia says in "Beetlejuice" - "Live people ignore the strange and unusual"- So our conscious mind would ignore such "impossible" things, but in the subconscious, we could tap into it. I say this also because most of my spiritual encounters have been through Lucid Dreaming, or Out of Body experiences. Usually, when someone I know passes on, they visit me in my dreams right after. Of course, logic would say it's only because I'm thinking of them, therefore my mind is dreaming about them- But I do feel there's some sort of connection, because all the times in these dreams, I feel like I'm really there, speaking to them from beyond the grave. I truly do believe though, that there's something more after this.
I also have thought of something haunting I read about a while back, and I think it would be good to share, while I'm on the subject. Years ago, there was a girl at the mall when there was a shooting in Toronto. Something had told her to go outside, and she barely missed being in the midst of gunfire. She wrote a blog article (You can read it here) Where she talks about the incident, what was going through her head, and how to not take life for granted, because we just never know. Not long after, she was sadly killed at the movie theatre during the Batman midnight show in Aurora
That's chilling! Look at her blog post. She barely missed death, but then was killed the same year. Was she meant to die at the first one, or was she given that second chance, even just briefly, to live those extra moments to the fullest, to say and do what she needed to? It's hard to comprehend or make sense of it- Is there design in the world? Fate? Or does it just happen? Who knows- I think that's what makes life so important and precious- The fact that we don't know what happens, and for all we know, this is it. Live every moment, every day, to the fullest, because tomorrow is not promised- we have now- cherish it. Love intensely, live fully. Take those chances. Be silly, goofy, say what you want, take the risk, be unapologetically you. Tell people how you feel about them now, not when it's too late. Hug your friends and family, talk to them. Do the things you want. Do something embarrassing. Do the things that make you go "Wow!" and feel exhilarating. But also, take the time to enjoy the moment. Breathe the air right now. Take a walk outside in nature. Slowly sip your cup of tea, enjoying its aroma and flavors. Laugh and play with your pets. Take the time to spend enjoying the moment instead of looking ahead all the time. Work is good, but life is more important, you don't want to look back and wonder "What if?" That's why I'm always so adventurous, why I love to do things- it's why I put myself out there and express myself- It's also why I'm so sunshiney, optimistic, free-spirited- I want to embrace and cherish now. I am not ignorant to the goings-on in the world. Being happy doesn't mean you don't know about things- I want to spread happiness and cheer because we have enough of the awful things around the world- Spreading good vibes can ripple back good vibes- Those good vibes can go into the world and really change it, even long after we're gone. I hope that's what I can do. Maybe (hopefully many many many years) from now when I'm not here anymore, perhaps my memory will live on and make people feel good- from the art I've created or the writings I've done. I hope so. In fact, maybe you're reading this blog from the future, and I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. In fact, I'm behind you right now!! Telling you this: Go out there, create memories for yourself, leave your impact on the world. You're here, celebrate it!
Thanks for reading. I hope you all enjoyed my lengthy and existential blog article. It's something I've been thinking about and I like talking about, so I figured writing about it would help to share what's been on my mind. I'm excited to get back into writing more. I took a break for personal reasons for a while, but I'm back ready to do this on the regular. I love to talk, writing is a great way to get out my thoughts, and this way I'm not bombarding someone with my subject matter- You can read it at your leisure- and hey, I wouldn't mind talking about it, if you'd like. Just reach out to me! Or you know, if it's the whole "grave" thing by now, well I'm sure you can find a way! ;) I'm just kidding! Or am I? Sometimes I can't even tell!
Well, I'm off to go treasure-hunting! (Aka thrift/yard sales) Thanks for stopping by! Toon into my next blog post where I will give an update on something I'm working on- "Kitsulie's Little Shop" Wheee! I'm excited!
Blue Skies! Enjoy the Chaos and Stay TOONed!